Saturday, April 12, 2014

It's tooooo darn hot!

Hello there.

What have you been up to?

I've been doing the following;

-  uni assignments
-  uni assignments
-  marking other people's uni assignments because MONEY
-  sweating
-  complaining about the weather
-  visiting with my parents
-  going to op shops
- celebrating my birthday belatedly with some fabbo blogging chums
-  taking my small daughter to a 4th birthday party at a play centre, momentarily panicking because I lost said small daughter for a goodly 5 minutes, then retrieving small daughter from stranger's birthday party after she insinuated herself into their room, sat down at the table, donned a party hat and began to eat her illicit chicken nuggets and chips with gusto. 
-  sweating
-  toilet training my boy - only he is sort of doing it all himself WHAT'S THAT ALL ABOUT THEN!? Touch wood, eh!?
-  uni assignments
-  loads of washing
-  thinking about exercise
-  thinking about being fat
-  folding loads of washing
-  tidying and retidying my cluttered house
-  taking my kids to the Lego movie in the middle of the day on the school holidays YEAH THAT WAS A GOOD IDEA I DON'T THINK OMG SO BUSY AND ACTUALLY I DIDN'T EVEN LIKE IT THAT MUCH
- shaving my legs DAMN YOU CLIMATE CHANGE AND TONY ABBOTT
-  joining the Labor party - I KNOW THEY AREN'T PERFECT BUT DAMMIT I AM GOING TO BE PART OF THE SOLUTION NOT PART OF THE PROBLEM GRASSROOTS AND ALL THAT
-  thinking about all the things I want to write but don't have time at the moment because ASSIGNMENTS and MARKING and CHILDREN and HOT WEATHER
- thinking about POLITICS and getting HOT UNDER THE COLLAR.  Is anyone else married to someone whose political opinions have diverged dramatically from yours? How do you avoid killing them ahahaha I mean squabbles? My husband is slowly turning into Boris Johnson, but without the good bits. I KID I KID HE HAS SOME GOOD BITS. Just not Boris Johnson's. Oh God I'm digging myself a hole.

I should probably stop typing because another blogger was telling me how they were looking back at their archives and when they first starting this blogging caper, hahaha, so funny, they just had posts with tonnes and tonnes of text and no pictures! I MEAN WHO WANTS TO READ THAT SHIT RIGHT!??

Ah oh.

Here's a picture - QUICK!

My husband, with friend. I KID I KID! This is Boris Johnson. He's a right character!

Here's a well-made bed to distract you all...



Hope you have some nice clean sheets to snuggle down on. Don't know why I bothered putting fresh sheets on our bed, I'll only sweat all over them again.

WHEN THE HELL AM I GOING TO BE ABLE TO WEAR MY JEANS?????

It's inhuman.

Good night, my friends, and good luck.

Monday, April 7, 2014

Developments

Well so much for more diligent blogging and writing. I haven't written a jolly thing except To Do lists and one essay since my last enthusiastic blog post.

Unemployed life is just so darn busy!

Here are some visuals...
Momma's watchin' her stories
Git yerself some grits child, Momma's busy
Momma's got a good feelin about this one kids!


Anyway, when I haven't been wasting time instagramming the shizz out of myself wearing a weird mullet (and LOOK I think that is a totally CREATIVE and LEGITIMATE artform so there), I've been wasting time at op shops. SEEING A THEME HERE PEOPLE? I start the blog post with pained complaints about having no time to blog/write, then i talk about all the weird crap I've bought at opshops. I think of opshopping as a totally legit creative artform too. My life is basically one long piece of performance art.

Here I am modelling an outfit sourced mainly from opshops. YOU TOO COULD GET THIS LOOK AND BE JUST AS LUMPEN AND AWKWARD LOOKING AS I! Oh yeah baby. I call this look "Matronly Boho".You saw it here first.


You can't tell in this photo but I am wearing BLACK UNDIES and the skirt is basically TOTALLY TRANSPARENT. I went to the shops and the library like this. I essentially don't even care any more. Check out my undies WHATEVER!

Also got these shoes. HOW GOOD ARE MY LEGS? SO GOOD!
Got these shoes too. My legs! I tell you! They are hot! Long hair don't care!
 
  

Got this hipster retro macrame plant holder at an op shop. What a find! God it was an exciting moment.
Got carried away with reading Apartment Therapy and embracing my macrame pot holder so I bought some more Hipster plants inluding this mother-in-law's tongue and pink pot. Don't know what's going on with my arm in this pic,something cray cray is happening.

Other things I have achieved recently include;

- finishing all the Breaking Bad episodes. I was satisfied with the end but wonder, will there ever be a Jesse spinoff? I for one would watch it.
-    taking up Lap Swimming. That is to say, I went once, last week.  Still, I was impressed with myself and instagrammed that moment too, for posterity. I hope to repeat it at some time in the next year. 
This brings me to another related development- I have committed to NEVER EVER shaving or waxing my bikini line again. My skin just can't cope. I am permanently covered in ingrown hairs, rashes and boils. What's worse, boils on your privates or some hairs? I take hairs. Some friends have been shocked by this revelation but I am remaining firm. I may invest in some board short related swimwear, or I may not. I can't be bothered doing it any more. If my pubes offend you, feel free to turn away in disgust. Not bovvered.     God almighty the formatting has gone absolutely doo-lally on this post so I think I might just quit while I'm ahead.                                           






 
      





Sunday, March 30, 2014

Update. Soul eater.

OHAI there readers.

Sorry for my lack of communication. I can promise you (and look I just KNOW you have all been weeping and gnashing your teeth in grief when you check your blogreader and I haven't updated) that from now on, I am going to become a HARDCORE BLOGGER, and will be updating so much that you will want me to JUST GO AWAY AND LEAVE YOU ALONE.

The reason? Because I am FREEEEE! FREEEEEEEEEEEE! Developments in the greater Slapdash household have meant that I have chucked in my job at the place I have worked for almost 10 years, to concentrate on my teaching course, and to WRITE! No more commute! No more soul eating workplace of doom! In the next 18 months I am going to become a BOHEMIAN STUDENTY ACTIVIST WRITER TYPE and will be donning eccentric jackets made from blankets and wearing JAUNTY BERETS and STRAW HATS and HAREM PANTS and CHAINING MYSELF TO THINGS BY WAY OF POLITICAL STATEMENT practically 24/7.

I can't even fully recognise the freedom I have. I mean, I still have to work a bit, and get my EARNEST MATURE AGED STUDENT on, but that's ok. I WANT TO! Therefore it is not hard. OH GOD THE NOVELTY!

This is all down to a generous financial donation to my cause by my wonderful mother.  I can't thank her enough. Our life has been changed forever!  I don't even care that the weather is SO HUMID AND HOT that it is practically killing me, or that I have come down with conjunctivitis. EVERYTHING IS ROSY! I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHO I AM ANY MORE!

Anyway, the next 18 months is going to be the best.  I have these goals;

- STUDY like a mofo and KICK ARSE uni wise
- DO EXERCISE like a mofo
- MEAL PLAN like a mofo
- KEEP THE HOUSE CLEAN like a mofo
- WRITE! WRITE LIKE I'VE NEVER WRITTEN BEFORE. LIKE A, WELL....PRACTICALLY LIKE A MOFO!
- BE THE BEST MOST LOVING AND CARING AND EVERYTHING PARENT EVER

As one of my colleagues said, eventually, you have to do what feeds your soul. Or your soul will start eating itself.

2014 is the YEAR OF FEEDING THE SOUL!

Do you feed your soul? Or does it feed on you? Do you work in a toxic environment? SHARE WITH ME MY FRIENDS!

I'm EXCITED!

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